I usually plan and prep my blog posts to the day. Every once in a while I want to be spontaneous and run off the path of structure. Plus I have a creative mind and sometimes I don’t plan things. When I want to say something I just want to say it.
This morning I cried in church because I thought about how much God has blessed my life. He has been working in my life without me really knowing. In college I had some pretty ridiculous dark days. I remember saying, “I will never have kids!” Looking back on who I was then compared to who I am now, I cannot believe I said that.
Being a mom and a wife is one of the greatest accomplishments that I have ever achieved. Are there days I get overwhelmed? Sure. Do me and Chris fight over the house work? Absolutely. Every once in a while a get a glass of wine and a bath and Grayson WALKS in the bathroom. (Can I just get one minute to myself?) How could I ever say that I didn’t want this type of life? Of course there are days when I get overwhelmed and I feel like a terrible mom.
Why do all moms get a brief since of grief in there motherhood journey? I believe that sometimes we feel like we are not doing it right. Breastfeeding or formula? Vaccines or not? Co sleeping or crying it out?
You don’t need to know my opinion on all these but I will tell you this. I breast fed my baby for only 6 months because I couldn’t produce any milk. I was commuting to work and working 40 hours a week and I felt like an absolute failure. When I stopped breast feeding and supplying his milk I cried. When I took him to the doctor to get his first shots, he didn’t like them and I cried. I have been trying to put him in his own bed, but the first night I didn’t sleep next to him I cried.
Is my mothering style the correct way? Maybe not to some people but it’s right for us. I didn’t cry when all of those things happened in my motherhood life because other people made me feel like I was doing something wrong. I cried because I knew I was doing something right.
The point is, as mothers we don’t need to bring each other down on our own style. Do you know how many mean looks I have given my mother and mother in law when they give me unwanted advice? It made me so mad even though they were trying to help. I just wanted to learn how to be a mother on my own. I wanted to see what worked for us and what didn’t.
Mother to mother lets tell people our style but don’t bring them down. We cry enough as moms. We cry when our babies quit breastfeeding, when we have to go back to work because maternity leave is over, when they take their first steps, on their first day on kindergarten, when they graduate from high school, and when you are buying their dorm room crap for college. Being a mother is one of the greatest achievements in my life and if I can tell every mom out there that you are not a bad mom, that you are doing it right, that you can do this, that it’s okay to cry, then I feel like as a blogger I am doing something right.