Everyone remembers the birth of their child. Every single detail, every single up, and unfortunately, every single down. You remember being uncomfortable and in pain, but above it all, you remember seeing that sweet little face.
Warning: This might contain some serious detail about birth. This is a raw blog post so just be prepared for that. If you are expecting don’t be scared by this po. Everyone has a story that can scare you and that is not what I am trying to do.
I was forty weeks pregnant and I walk into to my last OB appointment. Dr. Lasher asked if I was ready to deliver this baby Jan. 11th 2018? Chris and I look at each other and smile so big. The doctor was monitoring my placenta the entire pregnancy and she didn’t want me to go over 40 weeks. I honestly think I chose the right doctor because she did an awesome job of making sure I didn’t worry about anything.
Something fun you didn’t know about me is that I am an extreme hypochondriac. One time I had a headache and I got a CT scan because I thought it was brain cancer (no joke). It’s something my husband has noticed since we started dating. My OB had some sense of it to and she definitely kept me calm during labor when things got a little weird.
Thursday morning at 5:00 a.m. we are set to be induced and no one really knows but a hand full of people. Chris and I were the only ones at the hospital and only close family knew of me being induced. This was honestly one of the greatest decisions I ever made. I didn’t worry about people being in my room and I didn’t have to worry about updating 500 people via text or phone calls. Chris and I had our privacy and it was WONDERFUL. I wanted her birth to be a surprise and joy when I decided to announce. I wanted it all on my own time.
(This is what I really looked like giving birth by the way.)
They started the pitocin drip and I had a nurse change to Shelly. I loved my nurse Shelly. She held my hand through everything and even stayed past her shift to help me push. I had no connection with Grayson’s nurse and buddy does it make a difference. She was a Godsend and she did an amazing job at keeping me calm through the entire thing. Even the downs.
When you are induced the contractions are hard and strong (so they say.. I have never had a child without being induced). It was awful. I gripped the side of the bed and moaned for hours. I told myself this was probably the last baby ever. I couldn’t believe how bad it hurt. The nurse said it was time to break my water and then after my water was broken I could get the epidural.
When my water was broken with Grayson I just remember water coming out slowly all over the bed. I don’t’ remember it hurting which makes me think that maybe I had my epidural before they broke my water with Grayson. The pain I felt when they broke my water was unimaginable. I wish I could describe it in words but there is no way. I cried 20 minutes after it was over just from the trauma. I remember Chris holding my hand so tight.
They ordered my epidural and boy was I ready. Getting your epidural is another scary stage of labor because they are sticking a giant needle in your back while you are contracting so hard. You are trying everything you can to not move and paralyze yourself. Oh, and did I mention that my smart husband wanted to know how she did it so it was taking even longer because she was going over every single step? I was kinda cussing Chris in my head but oh well.
The epidural feels so amazing because the pain is gone and you can sleep or do whatever you want like read a book or make a birth video. I was making Annslee Kate’s birth video while I was in labor. No surprise to my friends at all. Chris slept the entire time. I guess he was gearing up for the nights to come. They increased my pitocin and that’s when everything got weird.
The nurse Shelly would come in and just stare at the baby monitor. I could see on her face something wasn’t right and she would just say things like “the baby doesn’t like it when you are on your back.” So she would turn me from side to side.
I asked her if she was going to increase my pitocin because I noticed after she was staring at the monitor that she turned it down from a 14 to a 7. She told me she is going to keep it steady for a while because the baby didn’t like my hard contractions. With every contraction, her heart rate would drop.
The nurse and the doctor did a great job at kinda telling me but saying it wasn’t anything to worry about. I told Chris to stare at the baby monitor for me because I wanted to know if it dipped too low. But after a few more hours it was about 6:30 or so that night Shelly said I was at a 10 and ready to push.
The pushing: It’s the worse part and honestly I try but it’s hard to really know what you are doing when you are numb. The nurses and doctors tried to coach me but it’s hard. At least it is for me, I bet some women are just champs. Shelly did tell me she was a tight fit though. That her head could fit but barely. I don’t have to right body for childbirth I guess?
We pushed for an hour and I’m exhausted and crying. Chris said I was giving up. The doctor said that the baby is still high so we put one of those yoga balls between my legs. I could feel her coming down though and the epidural was worn off or I just felt a ton of pressure. I would push and her head would come two steps forward and one step back.
The nurse and doctor come back and we try this dreadful pushing thing again. The doctor really wants this baby out I think. I sensed the urgency. I always thought that mirror in the room was weird and I wouldn’t want it. But… they kept saying we see her head. I said, “bring that mirror over here”. I thought if I could see her then I would just know what I am doing and I will push her out. It WORKED. I saw her head and the doctor said I almost pushed her completely out without her having the team and her being gowned for delivery. She made me stop pushing.. it was insane. I am a very visual person so maybe I just needed to see her just a little.
With that final push, they put Annslee Kate on my belly and she kinda looked purple. Maybe all babies come out this way… but I honestly did not know if she was alive. Then I heard that sweet cry. Dr. Lasher said she came out sideways and the cord was wrapped around her neck. They cleaned her up and she came back so pink. It was amazing.
The doctor also told me after she was delivered that her heart rate wasn’t doing too well during labor. It wasn’t enough distress for a c section but it wasn’t good either. That was kinda scary.
The minute I saw her face all that pain, all the morning sickness, all the stress, and all that worry was gone. That’s how women do this over and over and forget everything. The connection you feel just takes it all away.
I am so glad she is here and with us so I can hang out and snuggle with her. She brings our family so much joy and little brother can’t quit kissing her either.
Thanks for reading my birth story and following along with our family,
Want to see what I packed in my hospital bag? http://www.abraidedblonde.com/2017/11/18/what-is-in-mommas-hospital-bag/
- Pillow for mommy and daddy
- Blanket for mommy and daddy.
- Hair Tie. I had my hair in braids.
- Don’t wear any makeup! Have your makeup for after delivery. 🙂
- Laptop and Laptop Charger. (We watched the office on netflix the whole time) It hurt to laugh though. But it helped my mood.
- Snacks for after delivery. My parents got me food because I went like 24 hours without eating and drinking but if you don’t have your parents just remember to have food with you.
We absolutely loved these matching outfits in the hospital by Baby Be Mine Maternity. They have outfits for boys too! Click the link here to shop
More pictures from the hospital: